The Scorpion King
2002
Director: Chuck Russell
Stunt director: Andy Cheng
Stars: Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson, Steven Brand, Michael Clarke Duncan, Kelly Hu
The Mummy Returns was one of the biggest piles of cinematic crap I have ever had the misfortune of laying my eyes upon, and this prequel isn't much better. In fact, if it wasn't for the spank-tastic Kelly Hu strutting around in next to nothing for most of the movie, I wouldn't have even bothered finishing watching this drivel. The thin shred of a plot has The Rock as a reluctant hero who must save a city from a tyrannical overlord -- basically, it's the same stuff that most every sword-and-sandal flick has offered up.
Sadly, since this is a PG-13 movie, there's not even any gratuitous violence or nudity to liven things up as with the best entries in the genre, like the first Conan film. The Rock does look fairly decent in the action scenes while displaying his trademark wit and Kelly Hu's eye candy is very nice, but that can't save The Scorpion King from falling into the pit of mediocrity which too many over-CGIed and under-scripted Hollywood action movies seem to be falling into nowadays. Even when you take this movie as a no-brainer action flick, there's nothing here to engage the viewer, and as such, I can't even recommend it as a rental.
RATING: 3.5