cover


Rating:

3




Year of release: 2006

Genre: horror/comedy

Director: Clarence Fok

Action directors: Hon Ping, Fan Ching Hung

Producer: Y.Y. Kong

Writer: Wong Jing

Cinematography: Joe Chan

Editor: Eric Cheung

Music: Lincoln Lo

Stars: Alex Fong, Yuen Wah, Miki Yeung, Sammy Leung, Andy On, Zuki Lee, Jessica Xu, Cynthia Ho, Vonnie Lui, Yuen King-Tan, Matthew Chow

Rated IIB for language, violence and mild sexual content


DVD Information

Company: CN Entertainment

Format: widescreen

Languages: Cantonese, Mandarin

Subtitles: English, Chinese

Extras: trailers

Notes: A decent enough DVD considering the budget of the movie.



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Dating a Vampire

Dating a Vampire

The DVD cover bills Dating a Vampire as "the reteaming of the duo that brought you Naked Killer", but it offers little of the fun of the Category III classic. It's yet another dopey horror picture that Hong Kong producers seem to be still intent on cranking out these days, even though no one seems to care about them. But I subjected myself to watching it. Why? I'm not sure -- but let's grab a beer or two and get on with the review, shall we?

Dating a Vampire stars Alex Fong and the incredibly annoying Sammy Leung as a couple of medical students who go to an abandoned apartment building to study for final exams. The only other people in the building are a trio of cute women (Miki Yeung, Zuki Lee and Cynthia Ho) who strangely dress like they're still in the 1960's. Well, it turns out that they dress like that because they were vampires who were "turned" during that time.

Dating a Vampire

Why exactly they haven't bought new clothes since then, even though their apartment has stuff like a flat-screen TV in it, is never explained. Also, the vampires have mirrors in their apartment. Why the hell would vampires need mirrors? Anyway, the trio has killed 999 "bad guys" and need the blood of just one "good guy" so they can achieve immortality. And guess who the good guy is? So, enlisting the aid of a TV Taoist ghostbuster (Yuen Wah, in a total "beer money" role) and his brother who is in the SDU (Andy On), Alex sets off to destroy the vampires.

I really don't know where to start with this. The acting is piss-poor, even by horror movie standards. Does Sammy Leung have some donkey show pictures of Charles Heung? I cannot fathom why this "actor" keeps on getting work. I wanted to jab him in the kidneys about five minutes into the film. The other actors don't fare much better. Yuen Wah tries his best, but it's almost embarrassing seeing a man who was in some of the greatest action movies ever created slumming in fare like this.

Dating a Vampire

If you're expecting the horror bits to save the movie, don't hold your breath. The vampire makeup is laughable, consisting of white face paint and cheesy-looking fangs... which sometimes fall out of the mouths of the actors! Clarence Fok tries to create a spooky atomsphere with dim lighting and "fancy" camera techniques, but it totally fails. I've seen more compentent shooting and editing on amateur films on YouTube.

From beginning to end, Dating a Vampire does nothing but alternately bore and annoy the viewer, and frankly should not be viewed by anyone with a lick of sense. Even after a six-pack of Heineken, it was a chore getting through this one. The movie gets a couple of points for the eye candy from the actresses, but if you're looking for some T&A -- or just a decent horror movie -- there are far better alternatives to be found elsewhere.

Dating a Vampire