Kung Fu Dunk

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AKA: Slam Dunk

Year of release: 2008

Genre: action/comedy

Director: Chu Yen-Ping

Action director: Ching Siu-Tung

Cinematography: Zhao Xiao-Ding

Stars: Jay Chou, Eric Tsang, Charlene Choi, Wang Gang, Wu Jing, Wilson Chen, Ng Man-Tat, Leung Kar-Yan, Eddy Ko Hung, Kenneth Tsang

Rated IIA for mild language and alcohol use

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Kung Fu Dunk made a decent amount of money at the box office during last Lunar New Year, which is a bit puzzling, since it seems to use a whole bunch of moves from the "how to screw up a Lunar New Year release" playbook, including:

  • Base your movie on an existing property (in this case, a manga called Slam Dunk) and then totally ignore everything that made the original source successful in the first place.

  • Feature copious amounts of extremely obvious product placement. Here, we get Pepsi cola, Motorola phones, and Absolut vodka... in a movie where one of the main characters is an alcoholic. Smooth move there.

  • Have a soundtrack that consists of stock music and the latest singles from the movie's stars, and present ample opportunity to use them via musical montages to pad out the running time. Bonus points here for the songs having insightful lyrics like "You're like tofu/TOFU!/I'll beat you with my kung fu/KUNG FU!"

  • Mine half of your cast from veterans looking for a quick paycheck, with the other half being pop stars looking to promote their latest album. Make sure to do a half-ass job directing them so it looks like no one gives a shit about the production.

  • Totally ignore the romance between the two young leads, and emphasize the creepy relationship between the male lead and his much older male co-star. Serious, Eric Tsang looking dreamily into Jay Chou's eyes whilst lil' Jay sheds a tear is one of the most unsettling images I've ever experienced in Hong Kong cinema.

  • Make a movie about kung fu and basketball that doesn't really feature much of either, and when it is on-screen, totally ignore any rules or sense about it. Yet more bonus points are earned here by wasting the talents of one of the world's best action directors.

  • When in doubt, use CGI. Lots of CGI.
In case you don't get the point by now, Kung Fu Dunk is a terrible movie, which should come as no surprise, seeing as it comes from the "genius" of Chu Yen-Ping, who tries to bamboozle potential viewers by being credited as Kevin Chu. Chu's "best" movie is Fantasy Mission Force, which features Jackie Chan running around chasing chickens while being attacked by Amazons, and this entry somehow manages to be worse.

Kung Fu Dunk is the kind of loud, annoying, and nonsensical film that give Hong Kong's output a bad name, and should be avoided by everybody other than aficinados of sub-par cinema.

RATING: 3