Warriors of Virtue
1997; directed by Ronny Yu

Ah, what an age we live in -- where hundreds of television channels are at our fingertips, offering a nearly endless parade of entertainment. So why is it that I keep ending up watching stuff like Warriors of Virtue, a movie where giant kung fu-fighting kangaroos take on an evil warlord who looks like he stepped off of the set of a Manowar video? I can't answer that, but I sure can tell you that you need to stay the hell away from this film.

Ronny Yu has never seemed to match the output of some of his contemporaries in Hong Kong like John Woo and Ringo Lam, but still has found some success during his time behind the lens. Legacy of Rage was the screen dubut of Bruce Lee's son, Brandon, that provided the jump start to his tragically short career. Yu successfully updated 1980's horror icons with Bride of Chucky and Freddy Vs. Jason. And, of course, Yu's The Bride with White Hair is widely considered to be one of the seminal films in the wuxia (fantasy swordsplay) genre.

So to say that Warriors of Virtue is a bit of a mis-step in Yu's progression is an understatement. Sure, when you boil things down, this is a kids' movie. But that still doesn't excuse its' shortcomings. The main plot itself is decent enough stuff, telling the story of Ryan (Mario Yedidia), a crippled child who is sent to an alternate world after falling down a sewer drain. The fantasy world is under attack by Komodo (Angus Macfadyen), who needs to take all of the life force from the inhabitants so he can stay forever young. Teaming up with the Warriors of Virtue, and using a magical tome, Ryan sets out to save the world from Komodo.

Okay, so the plot is a bit silly, but for a kids' movie, it could still work, if the film itself wasn't so technically flawed. The special effects -- specifically the costuming of the Warriors -- look absolutely ridiculous. There can't really be any suspension of belief that allows the viewer to really get into the story when a lot of the main characters are clearly guys dressed in bad-looking suits aided by obvious wire effects. Perhaps to cover this up, cinematographer Peter Pau goes with the "stop-print" technique, which is fine enough in small doses, but it gets overused to the point here where it'll have you reaching for the Excedrin.

The acting doesn't help matters, either. Angus Macfayden chews up the scenery in every shot he's in. I'm not sure if he was trying to be intentionally campy, but it doesn't work, and becomes damn annoying after a while. And while I do feel a bit bad criticizing a kid, Mario Yedidia is horribly whiny to the point that I was hoping he would get smacked upside the head, just so he would be quiet for a few seconds and give us all a little break.

This may very well be a case of a movie totally not being in my wheelhouse, but I feel the best kids' movies, such as Wall-E, can be enjoyed by both children and adults. Just because a film is intended for the wee ones, it doesn't, and shouldn't, mean everything needs to be dumbed down. The extremely young ones out there might be entertained by Warriors of Virtue, but most likely, any kiddie over the age of four or five is going to be bored to tears by this and will end up begging for something better to watch, like Spongebob Squarepants or Thundarr the Barbarian.

RATING: 3