Even considering the (at least to most western viewers) odd nature and happenings of kyonsi ("hopping vampire") movies, 1991's Vampire Kids (released as Vampire Resurrection via budget label Brentwood's "Eastern Horror" line) is tough to follow, seemingly making up the rules regarding its' particular version of the undead as it goes along. There is also a big dependence on dopey "sexy" humor, most of which will fall flat to those over the age of twelve. And once again Amy Yip frustrates straight male viewers (and some of you ladies) by threatening to reveal her "two points" but never doing so. But yet, matters here still remain compelling enough to hold the viewer's interest, even if it is in a cinematic car crash sort of way.

The movie tells the tale of a group of tourists whose boat crashes, leaving them marooned on an island that is seemingly deserted, except for a spooky little village. After the troupe of bumbling idiots noses around for a while, they manage to free a trapped Japanese vampire and the eponymous gaggle of blood-sucking tots to unleash their fury upon the unsuspecting travelers.

Before you think that this movie might be too scary for you, it should be pointed out that the vampires' "fury" mostly consists of them doing decidedly non-furious things, like trying to get blood from the tourists by throwing coconuts at them. What the hell? This is just one of the elements here that will have most people scratching their heads, even if they are familiar with the lore surrounding kyonsi. These are vampires that can walk in sunlight, and only hop when it seems to suit them -- or, probably more appropriately, when the awful kiddie actors playing them remember that kyonsi hop around instead of running.

Anyway, eventually we learn that the evil Japanese vampire kidnapped the kids, so the gaggle of goons team up with them to take out the baddie. And then "Big Silly Head" Shing Fui-On makes one of the twenty or so appearances in films he made in 1991 as the kids' father, and everyone rejoices after Billy Lau makes yet another joke about the size of Amy Yip's rack.

As bad as many parts of Vampire Kids are -- and believe me, it gets to fingers itching to hit the fast-forward button bad -- it's shockingly still an overall fun movie. Even the lowest of the low-budget productions at this time in Hong Kong film production could throw in a good number of stars, and it's through them (especially Sandra Ng, who plays a ditzy tour guide) that the proceedings move up a couple of notches. Sure, this movie is dopey and shallow, but it never takes itself too seriously, giving the viewer a decent ninety minutes of brainless entertainment, at least if you are in the right mood for ocularly ingesting a fat slice of greasy cinematic junk.

RATING: 5