This movie is available for purchase at www.sensasian.com

Rating:

3

Year of release: 2006

Genre: action

Director: Manny Luk

Stars: Teresa Mak, Karen Cheung, Jade Leung, Choi Chi Kin

Not rated; contains IIA-level violence

DVD Information

Company: Wing Artist Entertainment

Format: full frame

Languages: Cantonese, Mandarin

Subtitles: Chinese, English

Extras: none

Notes: About what you'd expect for a straight-to-DVD release. Even though the packaging lists this as being in PAL format, it's in NTSC.

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Kung Fu Tea

Going for straight-to-DVD releases is a crapshoot. Sometimes, you find gems like Van Damme's Wake of Death. Unfortunately, most times, you realize just why the movie never hit theaters -- and Kung Fu Tea is a prime example of that. From the start, the viewer's worst fears are confirmed, as the movie is shot on video and the dialogue is badly dubbed in. You might think there would be some hope when an action scene pops up in under five minutes, but you would be wrong. It's painfully obvious the female leads are doubled by men, the wire work is sloppy, and any time there is something halfway decent shown, the film-makers ruin the effect by showing it again... and again... and again.

After that sequence, the flimsy plot rolls into place, with Jade Leung and Karen Cheung playing a pair of private detectives assigned to protect a computer geek who has some sort of special program (what exactly it does is never fully explained). Of course, there's some bad guys after him -- we know they're bad because they dress in all black -- so the trio heads to a resort to hide away for forty-eight hours. Again, why exactly they must do this isn't explained, but it gives the film-makers the opportunity to use some really cheesy-looking split-screens ala 24.

Most of the film's running time is dominated by dopey comedy and sexless attempts at titillation. There's also lots of bickering between the girls, especially after Teresa Mak shows up to help out. The only reason seemingly for her arrival that the film-makers can rip off Charlie's Angels. With all of these "homages", director Manny Luk comes off as Wong Jing, except without his gentle touch. By the time Kung Fu Tea ended, I was grateful. Not because I had just seen a great movie, but the mere fact that it was over. Save your time and skip this one -- even fans of B-movie trash won't find much of interest here.