Would you like a bit of Highlander thrown into your Filipino action movie? Well, it doesn't really matter, because that's what schlockmaster Phillip Ko is giving us with Ultracop 2000. Surprisingly though, unlike a lot of Ko's work, this is at least somewhat entertaining, especially if you are a fan of "good" bad cinema.

Trying to actually make sense of this plot, and the movie as a whole, is an exercise in futility. This is most definitely one film that you're going to have to let your brain tap out a bit before watching it, lest you risk permanent damage to your psyche. Basically, the story boils down to Yukari Oshima being the "ultracop" of the title, who is pursing a drug dealer (Melvin Wong), and then bumps into some aliens who apparently stepped off of the set of a Trixter video.

Honestly, folks, I'm doing the best I can with what I have to work with here. There is no sort of rhyme, reason, or even the smallest widget of true quality displayed anywhere during Ultracop 2000's thankfully brief running time of eighty minutes. Really, for all intents and purposes, I should be giving this film the internet geek equivalent of a blanket party. But you know what? Ultracop 2000 isn't all that bad. In fact, I have to say that I actually had a bit of fun watching it.

Why? It's hard to say. Certainly, on its' base value, everything presented here should throw up huge signals that Ultracop 2000 is a total exercise in misery, especially with the atrocious dubbing and crappy picture quality plopped on the Tai Seng DVD. Ultracop 2000 has that special (or maybe not-so-special) gene se qua that the best of the best B (or, in this movie's case, Z) list movies have. For all of this film's many faults, at least it's never boring and may give you a few genuine unintentional laughs in the process.

RATING: 6

Note: for those of you who are still doubting just how bizarre Ultracop 2000 is, take a listen to this extended sound clip. Believe me, it doesn't make any more sense in the context of the movie.