Available at Amazon.com

Rating:

2.25

AKA: Mission Impossible 3

Year of release: 2006

Genre: action/drama

Director: J.J. Abrams

Action director: Vic Armstrong

Producers: Tom Cruise, Paula Wagner, Arthur Anderson

Writers: Alex Kurtzman, Roberto Orci, J.J. Abrams

Cinematography: Daniel Mindel

Editors: Maryann Brandon, Mary Jo Markey

Music: Michael Giacchino

Stars: Tom Cruise, Philip Seymour Hoffman, Lawrence Fishburne, Ving Rhames, Maggie Q, Billy Crudup, Jonathan Rhys Meyers, Keri Russell, Simon Pegg, Michelle Monaghan

Rated PG-13 for violence and language

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Mission: Impossible III

While thinking of what I was going to write for this review, some "clever" tag-lines like "it would be an impossible mission to sit through this" ran through my head. But, screw it, I'm just going to come out and say it as clearly and bluntly as possible: Mission: Impossible III sucks. Yeah, I know that's not anything approaching "true" film criticism, but, then again, Mission: Impossible III isn't anything approaching a "true" spy movie.

Mission: Impossible III is boring and annoying at the same time. Even without Tom Cruise's infamous meltdowns over the past year, this stinker has stuck the proverbial fork in the franchise. While I'm sure some of you are saying to yourselves "who cares?", this reviewer actually liked the two previous entries, with MI2 in particular being one of the more solid spy movies to come out of Hollywood in the past ten years. So it's with a small twinge of sadness that I must subject the third installment to such juvenile savagery as this semi-drunken rant.

It's hard to start with what's wrong here, because the whole picture is a huge mess. To begin with, the plot is basically a rehash of the first movie, with Ethan Hunt (Tom Cruise) becoming a rogue agent after he finds out there is a double agent at IMF. Secondly, the villain -- which is paramount in a film like this -- is just weak. Phillip Seymour Hoffman is a great actor, but, seriously, can you buy him as a tough guy? J.J. Abrams' (best known for the terribly over-rated TV show Alias) heavy-handed direction doesn't help matters any. I've seen better acting out of the cheeseball stuff on "My Network TV" shows like Fashion House. I was rooting for characters to die, just so the movie could finish quicker.

Oh, and if you're a fellow Hong Kong movie fan wanting to check out this movie for Maggie Q, I wouldn't bother. She does have a fairly big role as one of Ethan's fellow rogue agents -- and looks good doing it -- but stick with her HK stuff. And if you're expecting the action to save the day, keep dreaming. When it's not ripped off from previous entries in the series, it is so obviously CGI-ed that it becomes almost laughable -- which it would be if it wasn't so damn boring. I could go on and on about Mission: Impossible III's faults, but my drink is running dry, and frankly, I have better things to do than to write about such a craptacular movie such as this. And you, dear reader, hopefully should have much better things to do than subjecting yourself to watching this monstrosity.